Values and Priorities

There are many people who read the Bible, and every one of them might have a unique way of interpreting it. This actually occurred recently between myself and one of my patients. We actually both had unique interpretations about the Tower of Babel.

However, in the end, we both decided that every Christian, every person who believes in God, or studies the Bible, however religious, should get two things out of it.

1. Virtues: We must all be virtuous above all else
2. Priorities: We must have our priorities in order

Jesus said that the most important commandment is to believe in God, and the second most important commandment is that you should love your neighbor, and treat your neighbor as you would yourself.

If we can skim it down, if you put God first, then you are putting virtues first. If you are putting your neighbors second, then you are thus putting God first, and thus virtues first. If you are a virtuous person, then you will not only love your neighbor, you will be loved by your neighbor.

So it comes down to -- bottom line -- values and priorities.

The proper order of priorities

I think it was about ten years ago that I had this really neat discussion with one of my patients about priorities.  In fact, what she said was so significant to me, that I shared it with the priest who was going to marry me and my wife, and he used it as part of our wedding sermon.
What she said was this: "In life, if you don't have your priorities straight, nothing ever works out. If you you do not have your priorities straight, you will not succeed in your life."

She put her thumb up. "This is God. He is your number one priority."

She then put her pointer finger up. "This pointer finger represents your wife."

She held up her middle finger up. This finger represents your children."

She held up her ring finger.  "This represents other people."

She held up her pinky finger.  "This represents other things."

"Now," she continued, "If you get these priorities out of place, nothing seems to work properly." 

She demonstrated this by placing her thumb between her pointer and ring finger. Then she made as to grab something, and could not do it.  "See," she said, "your hand does not work right when your fingers are out of order.  The same is true when your priorities are out of order.  If you place God after your wife and before your children, you can't grip anything.  Life simply doesn't work; it's all a mess." 

She placed her thumb between the middle finger and ring finger. "If you place your thumb here, you still can't get a grip on anything. "See!" She opened up her hand, and gripped mine with hers, "the only way you can really grip things, have control of the things in your life, is to put your thumb before your other fingers. God, in essence, is like your thumb. If you have no God in your life, nothing works right."

She smiled, and continued: "The same is true if you get other things in your life out of proper order. You must love your wife before your children, and love your children before other people. But you must always put other people before other things."

Not only did my priest use this during our wedding ceremony, he also used it during mass that week.  He said he was very impressed.  

So, that in mind, I thought I would take the time to list the priorities in my life. Perhaps you might do the same -- just for fun.

1. God 
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Brothers, Relatives, Friends and Co-workers
5. The United States
6. Job
7. Home
8. Sleep
9. Reading, Learning, and Stimulating Brain
10. Sports
11. Blogging
12. Other things

I suppose I was thinking of such priorities when I gave up golf and collecting baseball cards in order to provide for my new family.  I would, however, love to start doing both again, however. 

Humility

I wrote a while back how life is humbling, it's not just baseball itself is humbling, as many athletes say.  Most God fearing people are trained to be humble, and as we face the trials and trivializations of life this often becomes the case by default.

According to Wikepedia (sure why now), humble is defined as such:

"Humility (adjectival form: humble) is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent
unity with the universe or the divine, and of egolessness.

Humility means being aware of the feelings and needs of the people around you and finding a place for them in your heart. Sometimes needs are short term, sometimes long term.

Needs? What are needs?

Needs can be something physical like food and water and shelter, or something internal, like an ear to listen to you, a hug, or a friend.

Most people who who work in the medical profession say they went into medical field because they love people. Yet do they truly have "empathy?" Do they truly have humility?

I don't see humility when I approach the nurses station and the staff is complaining about how they didn't get a raise for the year, and how the bosses are "ignorant" for not giving "me" a raise.

I don't see humility in that, because a person with humility would see that the boss didn't give anyone raises so all staff could keep their jobs. A humble person would jump into his bosses shoes and see what it's like from that perspective (although there are selfish, greedy exceptions of course).

I have humility, I would imagine, when I get called stat to do an EKG that is not needed in my opinion. The whole time I'm walking down there I'm thinking what I'm going to tell the irritating nurses who keeps calling me stat for non life threatening instances.

Yet, once I see the nurse, I see them as the people they are, just working to make a living. So, instead of complaining to them, instead of lecturing them, I keep my mouth shut and just do the job.

I may not do it with a smile, but at least I'm respectful.

Say it's slow at work and your boss says, "One of you RTs needs to go home." Your coworker is burned out and really wants to go home. Yet she says, "Why don't you go home, you have little kids and a wife who is sick."

That was a humble act in my opinion.

Some doctors in the emergency room will not consider the opinions of any other person in the room. They order what they want and complain when it's not done. They walk with their heads high as though they are better than everyone else. Humble they are not.

On the other hand, the humble doctor says, "Does any one else in the room have any ideas that might help this patient?"

Humility is sacrificing your own pride to lift up the other person's pride. Humility is sacrificing your time and energy and your own personal needs to make someone else happy.

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Charity

Charity should be a principle good deed in life. If you have money and time that is. It's more important to your spirit to give than to build up your personal empire. It's good to give of yourself and your time. The greatest gift anyone can ever give is charity.

By chaity I'm not referring just to money. I'm referring to anything that you give: time, money, an ear, encouraging words, etc. Any act of humility in a sense is a charitable contribution. It's anything that makes someone else better.

You can make a difference in another person's life. Don't let bad events change you either. Don't stop giving just because bad things happen, because bad things happen to everyone. Don't close off your heart.

It's important that you care about the entire human condition, not jut about this and not just about that and not just about yourself and not just about your family. You have to give of yourself in a way that you make the entire human condition better.

And it doesn't have to be something big either. For instance, I'm writing this blog and I have kids and I'm a respiratory therapist and I help people. In that way I have made the world better in just a small way, or so I'm lead to believe. You have your own way of contributing.

Are you an RT or a nurse or an EMT or a doctor? Then you are contributing. You are giving a charity to each person you touch in a positive way. Every time you smile to your boss instead of getting angry at him you are, in a sense, giving charity.

You are one person in a material world. No matter how much you have, no matter what gifts God has given you (or the peanut butter ferry if you don't believe in God), share it. Because you can make a huge difference. Give to charity. Give of yourself in some way.

The best way to raise a family is under God

I like to equate God with virtues, values, and morals.  In that way, it's from reading the Bible, from going to Church, that we learn these things.  It is for this reason that it's important that if you have kids that you take them to Church and raise them under the influence of God and Jesus and Christianity.

Both my parents and both sets of grandparents did this, and all of their children grew up to become respectable adults.  So when I started a family there wasn't a thought in my mind to try something different.  I am presently raising all my kids under the influence of God.

However, I know people who aren't.  And I have no problem with it.  I mean, you do what you feel you have to do.  I'm not saying you can't raise good kids without going to Church, but studies show it's harder.  In fact, every study ever done on the subject shows that children raised under God have a significantly higher chance of succeeding in life.

I mean, the numbers are so much higher it's not even close.  Kids not raised under god have a significantly higher risk of depression, anxiety, fear of death, anger, hate, etc.  They also have a significantly higher rate of getting in trouble, spending time in jail or prison, etc.

The neat thing is, however, is that without doing one study, people over 2,000 years ago figured this out.  Anyone who reads history books knows that prior to the Hebrews people married whomever they wanted to marry, had sex with whomever they desired, raped whomever they desired, aborted babies they didn't want. The result of this was lots of children in many families, and no family stability.  It also resulted in the spread of disease.

It was for this reason that the Jews, the Hebrews, created the laws they did.  It was for this reason that God, through Moses, created the laws he did.  He wanted to make sure people respected him.  He wanted to make sure people had morals and virtues.  He wanted to make sure people respected him and feared him, the way they should respect and fear their parents.

And it worked.  The Jews learned that in homes with a mom and a dad children had the stability they needed.  From mom they learned to love and respect God, and from dad they learned how to work hard and to respect women.

I'm not an expert on this subject, but I've read many books where the authors say that people who don't go to church don't go because they don't want to be judged. Christians do judge.  But we also love and respect people.

I have never once ever saw a Christian, a good Christian anyway, ever say anything bad at another person because he had a child out of wedlock, or a divorce, or anything like that.  They just don't do that.

Another reason they say people don't go to church is because it's too inconvenient.  And I will admit that it is inconvenient.  But the end product of children who love and fear the Lord, and who learn about the values and virtues that are needed to live a successful life makes all this inconvenience worth it in the end.

The Bible and God and Christianity are morals, virtues, and principles.  That's the bottom line here.  People figured this out over 2,000 years ago, so why would you want to go and wreck a system that has worked so well for so many years?

You don't learn morals and values when the dad is the government.

 I mean, even if you don't believe in God, you should do it for the children.