Sunday, March 23, 2014

Top ten guy movie actors ever

Guys tend to have a different agenda when seeking out a good movie than women. That's not to say women don't like guy movies, or guys don't like dramas, but a general rule of thumb is guys like, well, guy movies.

Guy Actor Impact Scale
1.If' you're desperate
2.Only a few guy flicks
3.Classic F-word lines
4.Franchise actor only (007)
5.Great bad guy actor
6.Too many so so movies
7.Classic guy stud
8.Stud Comic/ Guy humor
9.Stud of the second tier
10.Guy movie actor stud
A guy actor list should include (duh) the top guy actors, even if they're not in the order you're used to seeing them. To give some idea how much proximity factors into the equation, I've assigned each guy actor an impact rating that corresponds to the scale in the table to the right.

That should help narrow it down for you which of the guys on this list are most likely to choose a "boring" movie, compared to one who has a long history of choosing only the best movies to act in.  For instance, Robert De Niro and Steve McQueen only appear in A+ guy movies, so they both get a rating of a 10.

If you want to be guaranteed a good guy flick, these are the guys to follow.  Those who get a 9 generally choose good guy flicks, although most of their movies are those of the second tier.  If you want a good guy comedy, then you'll want to seek out those who score an 8.  If you want to hear good one liners, then seek out those who rank at 3, and so on and so forth.

Robert De Niro's portrayal of the mobster king Jimmy Conway
was nothing short of classic. 
1.  Robert De Niro:  I have never watched a boring De Niro flick. I can't even name all the elite flicks he has starred in, but I can try: Goodfellas, Godfather II, Mean Streets, Raging Bull, The Taxi, Awakenings, Cape Fear, Midnight Run, Casino, and Killing Season. Even in the few comedies he's acted in, he plays a tough guy, see "Meet the Parents," and "The Fockers."  Guy actor impact:  10

"Go ahead, make my day," said Clint Eastwood, in "Sudden Impact,"
a classic sequel to the #1 guy movie of all time "Dirty Harry."
2.  Clint Eastwood:  It only makes sense that he makes this list, although some of you are surprised he's not ranked number one.  Well, any guy movie veteran knows that Robert De Niro has had a greater guy impact than even the great Eastwood. That said, Eastwood plays the best tough guy ever, and for that he has never made a boring movie.  Guy actor impact:  10

Sylvester Stallone as Rambo in the explosive movie "Rambo."
3.  Sylvester Stallone:  He made a couple movies in the 1980s that were, well, truly boring.  However, he has made up for those blunders by making many great movies since, particularly the Expendables, The Expendables II, and soon Expendables III.  Every movie he acts in is good stuff, from Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, to Rambo, Rambo I, Rambo II, Rambo III, Rambo IV.  Do you see a trend here?  His movies are so good they create franchises. You could make a good argument to move him to #1 on this list. Guy actor impact: 10

4.  Al Pacino:  He's acted in two of the top ten movies of all time: The Godfather and Scarface.  Nuff said! Guy actor impact: 10

The coolest guy actor ever was Steve McQueen.  Photo here is
from the San Francisco car chase in the movie "Bullit." 
5.  Steve McQueen:  He was the smoothest guy actor ever.  He was "The king of cool."  He was not only one of the best guy actors of his era, he was the top box office draw during the 1960s and 70s.  If he didn't die at the age of 50 in 1980 due to mesothelioma, he would probably still be making movies, and he would probably be #1 on this list.  Guy actor impact: 10

"I'll be back," said "The Terminator," played by Arnold.
6. Arnold Schwarzenegger:  He's a perfect example of why America is exceptional.  Here's a guy who comes into this country, works hard to make his body huge, becomes Mr. Universe, becomes a famous A guy actor, and then becomes a famous governor.  Only in America could that happen.  When he first appeared on Expendables 2, he was offered a handgun.  He said, "No, I want a big one."  That pretty much sums up his impact in movies and in real life.  Guy actor impact: 10

7.  Mark Wahlburg. I think he has done enough guy movies by now to move up the ladder of best guy movie actors.  He has now starred in such films as Ted, Ted 2, The Gambler, The fighter, Boogie nights, The Departed, Shooter, Invincible, Italian Job, The Yards, and Four Brothers.  He has definitely developed a reputation as a guy move stud. Guy movie impact: 10

"Kickboxer" put van Damme on the map as a guy stud
8.    Jean Claude-van Damme: He's not in any of the top guy flicks of all time, but he is still one of the best guy actors of all time.  If you see the name van-Damme on the cover, then you'll probably get a good guy movie.  Guy actor impact: 9

9.  Bruce Willis:  He does tend to get involved in some bla bla movies, and for that reason we have to downgrade him a little.  Still, he's a top notch guy actor. Guy actor impact:  9

10.  Chevy Chase:  The neat thing about Chase is he uses comic absurdity to show absurdity.  He uses his comic ability to show how hard it is to be a man in a woman's world (well, it is, isn't it?).  Guy actor impact: 8

John Wayne: the king of classic guy flicks
11.  John Wayne: Now, how could we have a complete guy actor list without the rugged, masculine, western king with the distinctively calm voice, cool walk, and foot-ball player style build. He moves down in these here rankings only because these here older movies, you see, focus on plot more so than shoot 'em and kill 'em, knock 'em too the ground in a pile of blood action.  Guy movie impact: 7

Honorable mention:  Charlton Heston (10), Mark Wahlberg (10), Nicolas Cage (9), Dolph Lungren (9, 5), Chuck Norris (9), Steven Seagal (9), Liam Neeson (9), Mel Gibson (9), Will Farrell (8), Eddie Murphy (8, 3),  Marlon Brando (7), Danny Glover (6), Ray Liota (5), Harrison Ford (4), Sean Connery (4), Roger Moore (4), Pierce Brosnan, 4), Daniel Craig (4), Joe Pesci (3), John Travolta (2), Leonardo DiCaprio (2), Christopher Walken (2), Tom Hanks (1), Tom Cruise (1), Emelio Estevez (1) Christian Slater, Paul Newman and Robert Redford (1).

Who am I missing? Where am I wrong?  Help me add to this list.