Divorce Is Like Facing Death

There are those of us who have lost spouses. This is always a sad time. There will always be that empty spot that cannot be filled again. But, we move on as best we can.

I have always said that our loved ones would want us to move on. Surely, when we lose loved ones, we go through a mourning process. That's normal. That's to be expected. But, I think it's fair to say that our loved ones would want us to always remember them. But, they would also want us to move on with our lives. I think that's fair to say. I know if I died, that's what I would be thinking as I looked down from Heaven.

Now, let's discuss divorce. I can tell you from personal experience it's not much different than having your wife die. To have someone you loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally give up on you and your marriage is just like losing your spouse to death.

There is a gaping hole in your life that cannot be filled. The only difference here is that your spouse is still alive. And you have to split time with your kids with that person. And you still have to communicate with that person because of the kids.

As a Catholic, I never in a million years expected this. My parents fought. They fought harder than my wife and I ever did. And they are still married all these years later. And people respect them for it. I always figured we'd be two old, people who would look back and laugh at the times we fought. And we'd be respected as people are when they're married that long.

I figured my marriage would be the same way. We fought. We get over it. That's just what you do. That's especially what you do when you are good, faithful people.

But, that's not what she wanted. She wanted to give up. She wanted to quit trying. And, once she came to that decision, there was no turning back. In this state you only need one person to give up on the marriage. You don't need consent from the other person.

So, being realistic, there came a point where it was best to walk away. And so you do. You read how to split. You do what the experts say. Or, you create your own path.

And then you start all over again. You have a clean slate, minus the stain of divorce.